something I really struggle with

Acceptance is a tricky thing, at least it is for me. Although with most of the little stuff in life I am pretty laid back, with the big things I am quite controling. It's kind of a heriditary trait for Sikes woman. Us Sikes woman we're high maintenance. Anyway I realized a while back that right now in my life acceptance is what Christ is patiently dealing with in me. Blessing me with three needy children so close in age was a great place to start. I'm finding it hard to hang on to everything going my way when so much of my time and energy and physicality is sacraficed for them. Since becoming a mom I really have learned just how exhausting and difficult it is to try and control someone even when that person is an infant. But I find that in my relationship with Bryan I am still struggleing. Because I am a woman and often get emotional, it's hard for me to see what I am doing in the moment. But I am beginning to see a long running pattern in my life. This is what happens a lot in my life (not just with Bryan) I have very specific, high expections that when not met throw me into the depths of despair. So then I begin to fight for what I thought should happen or who I think someone should be. I am very good at fighting. My arguements are air tight and I can outlast almost anyone. But you know what, depsite my efforts when it's all over with I am still left with the knowledge of my inabilty to change anything. "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30. That's me : heavy laden. I feel the weight of my marriage on my back, I feel the weight of my children on my back, I feel the weight of suffering people across the world on my back, I feel the weight of my own twisted heart and mind begging to be redeemed and changed. Christ doesn't ask me to carry any of that. He says "I've already taken care of all that. Just trust Me." What he asks of me is to plow a straight line of obediance to Him. To be like the cow in the yoke illustration I will have to stop worrying about the outcome and just concern myself with doing what he asks. You think a cow is worried over the upcoming harvest? NO! He just does his job and if he's blessed with a good farmer he'll get his fair share of the harvest. Folks we are blessed with the best Farmer and he takes care of all his workers. Jesus keep teaching me, keep changing me, keep caring for me. You are amazing at what You do. Lord You can handle it all. I trust You with my relationships and my character. You WILL create something beautiful from my life!!! Let it all be for Your glory.